Gossiping with your spouse may be the secret glue that holds couples together, turning a so-called “nasty habit” into a scientific predictor of happiness and emotional intimacy.
Story Highlights
- Gossiping couples—regardless of the nature of their gossip—report higher happiness and relationship satisfaction.
- Same-gender couples, especially women, experience the highest well-being from shared gossip.
- The study uses real-world audio recordings to debunk stereotypes about gossip and gender.
- Relationship experts say the act of sharing perspectives is more powerful than the content itself.
Gossip Redefined: The Surprising Science Behind Relationship Happiness
UC Riverside’s 2025 study shattered long-held assumptions about gossip, revealing that couples who regularly “spill the tea” together are measurably happier and more satisfied. The research equipped 76 Southern California couples with discreet audio recorders, capturing snippets of their daily conversations. Not only did couples average 38 minutes of gossip per day, but 29 of those minutes were shared with their partner, regardless of whether the chatter was positive, negative, or neutral. The findings: gossiping together signals emotional partnership and boosts relationship well-being.
Chandler Spahr, the study’s lead author, made it clear: “Whether or not we want to admit it, everyone gossips. Gossip is ubiquitous.” The research, published August 7, 2025, in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, went beyond stereotype-busting. It found that woman-woman couples reported the highest levels of happiness and satisfaction, followed closely by other same-gender couples. The act of sharing perspectives, not just the content, seemed to reinforce a sense of “being on the same team.”
Behind the Data: How Real Conversations Reveal Intimacy
The use of the Electronically Activated Recorder (EAR) was a game-changer. Previous studies relied on self-reports or artificial lab settings, missing the messy, candid reality of everyday life. Megan Robbins, senior author and relationship psychology expert, pioneered this approach in her 2019 study, debunking myths that women or lower-income individuals gossip more. By capturing 14% of participants’ speech in natural environments, the research offered authentic insights. Couples weren’t prompted to gossip; they did it organically, supporting the idea that gossip is a natural bonding mechanism.
Contrary to cultural notions that gossip is toxic or malicious, the study found most gossip was neutral or even positive. The researchers didn’t focus on whether gossip was “good” or “bad”—the critical factor was the act of sharing information and opinions. Couples who gossiped together felt emotionally closer and more united, with the shared act building trust and a sense of partnership. For many, it was less about tearing others down and more about understanding the world together.
The Ripple Effect: Why Therapists and Experts Are Paying Attention
Relationship counselors are taking notice. Dr. Shamyra Howard, a prominent sex and relationship therapist, argues that sharing perspectives—even if it’s not strictly gossip—builds emotional and social intimacy. The study’s revelations are prompting some therapists to reconsider how they approach couple communication. Instead of warning against all gossip, counselors now see value in encouraging couples to reflect and share openly. The data suggests that the mere act of exchanging thoughts—whether about in-laws, coworkers, or neighbors—creates a private “us against the world” dynamic that strengthens bonds.
Couples who bond over this nasty habit are happier, study reveals: ‘Partners are on the same team’ https://t.co/hdtdlSRPUe pic.twitter.com/hQycyrwj8M
— New York Post (@nypost) August 12, 2025
Media coverage has amplified the findings, igniting public debate and shifting attitudes. Critics caution that malicious gossip can still be harmful, but the study’s focus was on routine, everyday sharing. With no major contradictory studies to date, experts agree: the stigma around gossip deserves reevaluation, especially in the context of healthy relationships. The long-term implications could include new counseling tools, relationship apps, and broader acceptance of gossip as a social tool for connection rather than division.
Sources:
UC Riverside Study Finds Gossip Good for Romance
Couples Who Gossip Together Stay Together
The Couple That Gossips Together Stays Together
If You Don’t Gossip in Your Relationship, You Should Start—Here’s Why
UC Riverside Study Finds Gossip Between Partners Can Strengthen Bonds and Boost
